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Ex​ó​tic

by Roberta Lazo Valenzuela

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1.
Ocean 03:28
I was looking at the ocean, it was empty. I can recall a line (in my mind).
2.
I love myself, I’m such a good time. And if I laugh, I’m such a good time, and if I cry, I’m still a good time. I never win, I’m hardly seen, (cause) without a prize I’m not recognized. I love myself, I’m such a good time. I don’t belong, but I’m a nice time, and if I’m not, I’m still a good anecdote. I’m yellow neutral.
3.
Mundo 03:22
Me vine pal viejo mundo, dejé todo para atrás. Después de tanto pensar donde estar, de no pertenecer en mi propia cultura, ay ay ay. Cómo duele no estar, cómo duele no ser, cómo duele vivir. // I came to the old world, I left everything behind. After thinking so hard about where to be, of not belonging in my own culture, ay ay ay ay. How it hurts not to be, how it hurts not to be, how it hurts to live.
4.
Wien 02:52
Ich bin nach Wien gekommen und habe ich dort gewohnt. Die Leute scheinen alle, ganz genervt und ganz allein. Am morgen Kaffee trinken und dann ein Bier oder zwei. Die Menschen reden immer über dies und über das. Und sie sagen: “Im Winter bin ich traurig, im Sommer ist viel zu heiss, das Wetter ist immer schlimmer und das Essen immer kalt. Die (das) Sauerkraut ist sauer, die Knödel sind zu weich, "mein Schnitzel mit Pommes frites statt die Erdäpfel, bitte Franz…” Am Berg ist immer schmutzig, die Stadt ist viel zu Laut. In Wien sagt jeder etwas und ich kann sie kaum verstehen. Ich kann nich mehr in Wien sein, weil ich kein Geld hab. // I came to Vienna and I lived there. The people all seem very annoyed and very alone. Drinking coffee in the morning and then a beer or two. People are always talking about this and about that. And they say: "In winter I'm sad, in summer it's too hot, the weather is always bad (worse), and the food is always cold. The sauerkraut is sour, the dumplings are too soft, "my schnitzel with french fries instead of the potatoes, please Franz..." On the mountain is always dirty, the city is too noisy. In Vienna everyone says something and I can hardly understand them. I can't be in Vienna anymore, because I have no money.
5.
Money 04:19
Money is as liquid as time, as the waves of thoughts that move inside my mind. Money is as liquid as time, as the memories of colors in the sky. Money is as liquid as time and the figures in the distance pass me by. Money is as liquid as time and the golden rays of sunshine make me blind. Money is as liquid as the path that I chose, as the fragrance of a moving yellow force. Money is as liquid as time is flat, as the mornings and the evenings we once had. Money is creeping in my life, an illusion of the meaning we can’t find. Money is as liquid as time is light like the moth against the window in the night. Money is breaking me is breaking you and I miss the times when money wasn’t true. Money is taking me away and I can’t continue, I can’t stay. Money is breaking me, money is taking me, money is tearing me apart.
6.
Keys 03:06
Rain’s falling down and I’m just heading down to the life I planned out. Rain’s falling down and I’m putting my raincoat and suddenly I see. I just left them on the desk, I swear I saw them where did I forget the keys? Oh, it is always the same boring thing where did you left the keys you messy woman? I was looking everywhere, I swear I checked it there. Oh wait, I found them in my pocket! Don’t be mad, I know that we are late, but really, no one cares, it’s not like we are so important in this da, da, da, da ra, da ra…
7.
Käsetoast 03:17
Super, super! Käsetoast! Mogst du ein Tee haben? mit dem Käsetoast? Tee und Käsetoast. Zum Frühstück, zum Abendessen. // Super, super! Cheese toast! Would you like to have a tea? with the cheese toast? Tea and cheese toast. For breakfast, for dinner.
8.
Bye bye 05:47
Esa colilla de cigarro apagada en suela de bota, ese pucho de estación pintado con rouge húmedo, ese pucho rojo rubí que me dejaste y que guardo en el bolsillo de mi camisa demente, ese amuleto de despedidas, monumento a la falta de tus tetas en mi pecho de tu huella de saliva en labios espejos, del labio de tus pies, de esta ciudad ahora convertida en crisis de identidad, en voyerismo, en un yo podrido. Yo en Viena caminando yo en Viena nuevo pobre. Poema por Adrián Dozetas // That cigarette butt extinguished on the sole of a boot, that station cigarette painted with wet rouge, that red cigarette ruby that you left me and that I keep in the pocket of my demented shirt, that amulet of farewells, monument to the lack of your tits on my chest of your saliva print on mirrored lips, of the lip of your feet, of this city now turned into an identity crisis, in voyeurism, in a rotten me. Me, in Vienna walking me in Vienna new poor. Poem by Adrián Dozetas
9.
Difficult 04:22
It is difficult to tell you what it is in my mind mainly cause I’ve never said it out loud, I need more time to think it through! You don’t understand and I don’t recognize myself. Trying to survive I spit out some of their own words maybe sometimes even phrases and verbs. I need more time to figure this out! They all stare at me and I forgot the words I learned. It is difficult to say, to talk, to speak. These words don’t belong to me to the sounds I long to hear. I’m lost in the blue of their eyes I have never seen a sadness of this kind I changed my mind, I don’t wanna live here! They don’t understand and I forgot the words again. It is difficult to say, to talk, to speak. These words don’t belong to me to the sounds I want to hear. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8….
10.
Déjà vu 03:28
11.
Sky 06:04
When I was young my mother taught me how to be as brave as her, to grow and go around. When I was young my father showed me how to be myself. They said, they told me I was free. And yet sometimes it seems I can’t, I cannot breathe without someone around. I cannot find in the night sky the stars my father told me about. Where are they now? That I’m so far, that I’m so far from home. Where are the stars my father showed me in my hometown sky?

about

The journey began the moment I crossed the mountain range.

A cord of mountains, overpopulated land and then the ocean.
Looking from above it all seems so easy, gentle.
Then I landed.

I collected anecdotes and stories.
Things moved
and so did I.
Slowly the exotic became quotidian
and I went from counting days to counting years.

credits

released June 24, 2022

Music and words by Roberta Lazo Valenzuela with the exception of the poem “Bye bye”, written by Adrián Dozetas.

Roberta Lazo Valenzuela – lead and backing voice, whistles, sopran and bariton ukulele, guitar, synthesizers, zither, sopran, alto and bass recorders, and percussion (kalimba, bells, drum, egg shakers, cymbals and toys).
Thomas Gravogl – backing voice in Ocean, I love myself, Mundo, Money, and Sky.
Gerald Schaffhauser – flute in I love myself, backing voice in Sky and bass in Ocean, I love myself, Mundo, Keys and Sky.
Florencia Hernández – piano in Keys.
Cristóbal Piña – guitar in Keys.
Michael Naphegyi – Drums and percussion in Difficult.
Adrián Dozetas – reciting voice and author of poem in Bye Bye.
Eddie Luis – drums in Bye Bye.
Robert Trömer – electronics in Déjà vu.

All songs were recorded in my home studio between 2020 and 2022, with the exception of the instruments in Keys, and the drums in Bye bye and in Difficult.

Mixing: Martín Pérez Roa at Estudio Niebla
Mastering: Lisa-Maria Hollaus.
Label: Forst Rekords
Cover artwork: Roberta Lazo Valenzuela
Cover photo: Lukas Hof. Werkstätte digitale Fotografie.
Graphic Design: Hanna Priemetzhofer
Release date: 24 June 2022 (online) / Jan 2023 (12″ vinyl)
Supported by SKE.

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Roberta Lazo Valenzuela Austria

Chilean composer, singer and visual artist living in Austria.

In her music she weaves stories with memories and landscapes in a variety of soundscapes, experimental songs, and atmospheres.

She embraces influences of ambient, jazz, experimental pop, Latin-American folk, contemporary and baroque music.
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